Author: Yiner (Fay) Wang
When I arrived alone at Wellington International Airport, overwhelmed by tiredness and a desire to cling to familiarity, Christina and her husband’s warm “hello” in Chinese healed my uneasiness like a hug from the motherland, 9520 kilometers away.
On that evening, amid the warm steam of wontons, I slowly came to understand their family story. The parents have three children; unlike them, all three were raised in New Zealand. But the full story didn’t unfold before me until I determined it was the right time to delve deep, bit by bit. Therefore, Christina and I sat in my room and started a conversation on the night right before my leave.
Here’s the story. Christina and her husband witnessed that their children had grown more familiar with babysitters, realizing the ephemerality of children’s growth. They longed to strip off the overwhelming, workaholic lifestyles in China and reached an immediate agreement to migrate to New Zealand.
Alongside the family’s resolute decision came the birth of Christina’s third child, which thrust her into personal upheaval as she sought a new balance. Back in China, Christina was a career woman and never needed to do household chores, including things like changing nappies for the baby. However, in New Zealand, she had to do it by herself and learn everything from the beginning. It felt like her hardest period, for her focus shifted from personal pursuit to trivialities. “But it was worth it. Everything has settled now, and I can’t imagine a life without him,” Christina said. “Him” refers to her third child, who was playing the piano downstairs while we had the conversation.
While Christina had found harmony and balance in their new life, her children reached school-going age. Small things came first. One day after school, her son told her that students laughed at the Chinese dumplings stuck together in someone’s lunchbox at school. This was when she felt uncomfortable about the disregard for cultural differences. Then came an incident that stirred a mix of indignation and futility within Christina.
A teacher publicly said it was dangerous to visit China because there is a widespread cult. When one student in class stated that he felt safe in China even at night, the teacher’s response was “that’s because people from the cult are not interested in your organs”. Back then, Christina’s eldest son was little, having an ambiguous image of China, but he was sure what he had heard didn’t align with his parents’ descriptions of the country. He brought his confusion to Christina, who was totally outraged by the skewed narratives. She clearly described her early life and their relatives’ lives in China, using the word “safe”, while also encouraging her son to do some research instead of believing someone who had never been there. She realized it was futile to change people’s entrenched beliefs, but what she could do was guide her children to view a country and its culture thoughtfully—not to be influenced by others’ comments, but to form their own judgements based on knowledge and experience.
Instead of imposing her ideas on children or forcing them to accept Chinese culture, Christina attempted to draw a connection between the kids and China internally by persisting in celebrating traditional Chinese festivals at home, such as Dragon Boat Festival. She stressed that as long as it was not forceful, she would be happy to share knowledge about her motherland.
A teacher publicly said it was dangerous to visit China because there is a widespread cult. When one student in class stated that he felt safe in China even at night, the teacher’s response was, “That’s because people from the cult are not interested in your organs”. Back then, Christina’s eldest son was little, having an ambiguous image of China, but he was sure what he had heard didn’t align with his parents’ descriptions of the country. He brought his confusion to Christina, who was totally outraged by the skewed narratives. She clearly described her early life and their relatives’ lives in China, using the word “safe”, while also encouraging her son to do some research instead of believing someone who had never been there. She realized it was futile to change people’s entrenched beliefs, but what she could do was guide her children to view a country and its culture thoughtfully—not to be influenced by others’ comments, but to form their own judgements based on knowledge and experience..